She Will BE Me

When I was a child I was so confident. So ambitious. Fear did not exist to me. There wasn’t a thing that I did not believe I couldn’t do. I wasn’t afraid to try new things and not only did I try but I refused to give up until I succeeded. Stage fright did not exist to me. There was no such thing as a stranger. And honey there wasn’t a soul on this Earth that could convince me I wasn’t cute. Unfortunately, the older I got the more harsh this world and the people in it appeared to be and the girl that I was became a thing of the past. By the time I was a teenager she was nothing more than a memory that was replaced with a girl that preferred to go unnoticed, hated meeting new people out of fear of judgement and preferred to play it safe by sticking to the same old routine. Now as a an adult I am making it a goal of mine to be more like her.

I refuse to continue living my life worried about others opinions. I am determined to heal and find my confidence again. I am so much more than what others say or think about me. My worth isn’t defined by my physical appearance, male attention, the clothes I wear, my body type or any other stupid superficial standards that the world tries to force on me. I define me and I determine that I am a queen.

I refuse to settle anymore. I refuse to beg anyone to see my worth and that goes for romantic partners, friends and even family. If I feel like you aren’t contributing to my growth and I have to beg to treat me the way I deserve I am no longer explaining myself or asking. I am just going to politely remove myself. I know exactly who I aspire to be. I dream of becoming a more improved version of my childhood self. A successful God-fearing woman who pours love into herself, the world and others around her. She is lives her life freely and does not fear failure or judgement. No one determines her worth but her. She understands she is not perfect and she does not strive to be. She is simply happy. SHE WILL BE ME.

Introduction

I am going to by J on here. I have always enjoyed writing as a hobby so I am writing this blog as a form of therapy to discuss my battle with mental health, confidence, anxiety etc and how it affects my daily life. This blog will heavily look into my journey on learning how to love myself and be happy with who I am. This has been an issue I have been dealing with since my teenage years and as a 25 year old adult I am still learning but I refuse to give up. Despite the world and the people in it I know I am in charge of my life and will learn how to take charge of loving myself and every single thing that God made about me.

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